I may have been born in a log cabin, in the wilderness of Alaska. My earliest memories may be of rasslin' polar bears and spearing fish down by the crick. After a youth spent hopping freight cars and refining harmonica skills, I may have been gainfully employed by "Mother Marm's Traveling Medicine Show and Tent Revival Jamboree." I may have had a stint as a "Red Elixir" salesman, cut short by a run-in with the local Sheriff. It seems that the good Sheriff's sister-in-law suffered an untimely death (possibly from a snake-oil overdose). I may have left town in a hurry. Relocating to California, I may have begun a career as a pulp science fiction writer that culminated with the founding of the self-help/sham religion "Bimbotology" (AKA "Lushanetics"). Using a variety of front groups, I may have managed to lure many of Hollywood's easily duped celebrities into my clutches. I may have soon become very reclusive, rarely leaving my compound under the guise of darkness. Thirty years later, after a diabolical cloning experiment still shrouded in secrecy, I may have mysteriously reappeared, as a cynical musician rumored to be married to both Tammy Faye Bakker and Pamela Anderson Lee.

N'er-do-well

String theory; fugue,